My story of motivation and positivity

the last 'my story' involved a terrifying event that no one would ever imagine to happen to someone 'so young'
An event that I hated for so long and despised my body for, my life's always been a rollercoaster of hospitals and appointments waiting to be told good or bad news..

So here's my new story;
Full of motivation happiness and if I don't say so myself a lot of bloody inspiration,
My chemotherapy is working and uni if going so well;
Can't complain with three B's ( goal complete) to get higher grades than year one, higher than some people who aren't like me..
I live with Liam in a flat and it's getting easier as everyday goes on.
I've been volunteering at the hospital and I'm currently working on a project with my old ward by painting a mural on the wall in their really dull day room..
My walking will always be different to others but I guess that makes me special,
I'm so much more confident and comfortable than I've ever felt in my own body, I just get on with my life and don't let anything set me back..
why should I?


My confidence is sky high and I probably have to much of it

I've never really praised my old friends or ex for leaving my life but here's a huge thank you, for letting me recover and prove everyone wrong.. and be the best version of me.

Like I said on radio 5; life's just a rollercoaster going up...


So that's my new story full of positivity and good grades at uni and confidence
:)
I'm my version of normal

Living with epilepsy..

I live with it everyday and probably will for the rest of my life.
some people scare me when they talk about it openly, because when you have eli;espy you carry the anxiety and worry of ''will I have a seizure?''
The worst part of this worry is wondering that if you did have a seizure, what type would it be?

I suffer with absent seizures and Petit Mal seizures..

I may be seizure free for about 6 months but its still a scary thought.

My stroke caused my epilepsy and I have to deal with that..


The other day someone said they wouldn't know what to do if someone had a seizure, knowing full well i'm epileptic,,
''I'd just poke them and leave them there''

When you have epilepsy you have the fear of trusting people, even if they're really close to you..

for your safety and to check you're okay after..

Studying with a disability

Its a brain injury as well as a physical disability,

I get help when i'm at uni, it's difficult when you used to be so independent and now you're slightly dependent on another person,
have they got all the notes?
did they write it so I can understand it?

I can't understand anything written in paragraphs, unless I write it..
I miss out lines when I read, I loose concentration and struggle to regain it.

My brain wanders off when i'm trying too hard, then my fatigue kicks in,
leaving me confused, unmotivated and angry.

I can feel my brain working hard when I start getting on with my work, it's an odd feeling,
it's a light throbbing feeling on the corner of my brain (right side)

When I come up with my own ideas or understand something,
I get a sensitive throb (just like the feeling after someones scratched an itch).

studying with a brain injury is difficult but the feeling I get in my brain is the best feeling, knowing it's recovering and i'm be getting better

Speech and Language Progress..

I've been having speech and language for about 3/4 months,
When I first suffered my stroke I had something called;
Dysphasia.

Basically I would struggle to understand emotions and mislead what people say to me:

• If someone nudged me in the street, i'd swear at them or get really aggressive (even though it was probably my fault) 
• If someone text me without an 'x' I would assume they were angry with me.
• If someone told me joke I wouldn't understand but i'd laugh so much that i'd look strange and rude ( i'd watch other people laugh and laugh because they were) 
• I struggle to understand sarcasm, humour and emotion.

My speech and language therapist reads statements to me ( mini stories, small paragraphs) 

Then she asks me questions, to see if I was concentrating and remember the \important' details.

This is because I can't 'read between the lines' I miss out details from; stories, lectures and essays.. 

My concentration is really bad and I 'wander off'. 

This is where my learning support assistant helps ( she writes notes for me during lectures and bullet-points the important bit so it's easier for me to understand.

The filter in my brain is coming back, meaning i'm slowly gaining;

• my memory
• cognitive skills
• my language
• my emotions 
• and i'm more socially aware of how to speak in a conversation.

My recovery is continuing and i'm improving..

slow and steady wins the race..