Something new to look forward too

the walk I was once anxious to walk
* slow down incase you fall, you don't want to get tired before starting*

Today I enrolled to year two of uni,
I completed the first year which I never knew didn't count towards my degree, but still an achievement,

When I suffered from my stroke as well as walking I wanted and aimed to return to university..
Goal completed, I never had the chance to apply to year two, this time I HAVE!
Goals;
Complete year two with a better grade
Try and attend everyday stop fatigue getting in the way..

*lizzie you're starting to sound like Bridget jones*

I had a meeting with the support assistant about what I needed help and support with, I was so assertive and told her what I thought I needed this year..
Luckily the lsa that wouldn't stop following me around has left!
( she was lovely but I'm sure she stopped people talking to me)
I mean what 22 year old needs someone waiting outside the toilet for them?!

I still speak my mind and obviously that part of my brain still needs reconnecting as everyone even Liam gets embarrassed when someone pushes me and my response is enough swear words to get me beaten up..

I've overcome so much more than I thought I would and to be honest even before the stroke I probably wouldn't of been applying to year two
( I treated it like school.. 'Bunking' but not in the toilets.. In bed)

"It's my goal I'm going to do it"

My stroke of positivity confidence and independence

I used to blame you for ruining my life, I used to write to you as if you could just make it all better..
So here's my apology;

Dear brain,
I'm sorry for accusing you of ruining what I though was a good life, I'm sorry for telling you I hated what you did,
At the time I thought I had it all.. I though my life was ruined,
Notes on my hospital wall from family members
'Liz in 6 months you'll be even better'
I'd brush off my shoulders ignore and laugh at..

Only to realise that two years later they were right and enjoyable to read..

The nights I cried over so many stupid things,

Thinking that the people I classed as friends were infact as fake as Kim kardashians bum.

I've learnt so much from my stroke, it's given me independence confidence and so much more, the disabilities aren't all noticeable, I'm still broken inside my skull, my brain still isn't fully connected..

I'm learning to adapt and realising that I'm a lot stronger than I think..

So that's my stroke of positivity confidence and independence,
Dear brain;
I will continue to prove all those who doubted me wrong.

Please don't tell me what to do

I'm capable of doing anything I want to,
Most people do assume I need that extra bit of help ( angry emoji face)
I get told to sometimes accept it, not by my brain but by others that I tell..

" do you want me to help you?"
*lizzie don't get angry, just calm down*

My brain has a fight, if it's between the left side and the right so I don't know..
*dont do it*
I've learnt to not say what's on my mind.. As much as I would on Twitter,

"No I'm fine thankyou"
They offer the help if I need it soon after..

I struggle with some things and you can tell, my arm hanging down in a bent position, my leg shaking and my face that expresses a strange concentrating face..

*sigh*
This is to prove I can do it, after I've achieved the task..

I hate it so much when people assume I can't walk very far or climb stairs, my reaction
"I've learnt to do it, so I will I'm not a child"
*push it come on, bend straighten, lift, bend, place..*

I still tell my brain how to move my leg, how to straighten it and place it..
I'll always be learning to walk and it's my recovery, it's not the best 'gateway' but it's making me walk so I'm happy..

When I; stand, walk and sometimes get into the shower or out of bed, I have a smile on my face so happy because I know I've achieved this and I. Pulsing do it a few years ago..

My recovery is probably only just starting, sounds so weird but it's only just started becoming noticeable; the breathless steps I walk, the tingles I get on my left side, the times I'll be scratching my arm or leg, thinking "oh my god, the feelings coming back!!"

No matter what my disability is no matter what I can and can't do, I'll always challenge myself because I was told "it's only going to get better"

As harsh as it sounds when I sometimes say "Liam I really can't do this"
We both look around or talk about how if it happened to people we know they wouldn't cope, it makes my confidence grow because it's probably true..