Me and MY epilepsy..

I suffer with epilepsy and have done since my stroke,
I personally would say this is worse than my disability as it comes with more 'difficulties'..


My head completely turns to the left when I have a sezuire, I convulse and bite through my tongue, I go blue and stiff making it really difficult to 'put me in the recovery position' (this is how you help me)..
I don't know how long they last but to me, it's like a bloody life time! And I ache SO much afterwards and I just want to sleep for days..


Abscent
'Arm flick' this is an abscent seizure and the majority of people I know have seen how distressing they are, if I continue to 'follow it through' it causes a HUGE ONE.. (stated above) these happen daily, sometimes one every 5 minutes..

The public..
People get scared, 'what do I do if you have a seizure?'.. everyone gets anxious to almost be around me, I get that.. I'd be nervous, you can see it in their faces, I had about 10 seizures in the space of two weeks.. Liam has seen me in situations he shouldn't ever have to and Im struggling, mainly with the fact they just happen; in my sleep, in the street, at home ANYWHERE! your brain just doesn't care.

Anxiety
This is HUGE for epileptics, I mean you'd be overly anxious, wouldn't you?
When you're asked about it you do have to explain but it makes it so much worse,
'Can we just not talk about it please..' even explaining to the doctor or my mum who needs to know that I'm having them..

The purple card
'I bite my tongue I'm on this medication and  this is the recovery position'
I hold this as I walk anywhere, walking from the bus station through the crowds of Canterbury college students is the hardest part as they're so young they wouldn't know what to do if 'it happened'..
the purple card is my best friend, it stays in my hand through any journey, or my right pocket, for safety.. a 'safety blanket'

I wouldn't even know what to do
Even if I saw someone having one, I genuinely wouldn't be able to help; because of my disability and my emotional state of being to emotional to deal with seeing someone in pain..

Tiredness
When I'm extremely tired I get scared because I know my seizures can be caused by this, but then it's a side effect from my stroke and medication, confusion!!

Blood sugar
I have to keep my sugar levels up, when I have 'anxious moments' I buy something with sugar in it, orange juice is my fave!! I mean, it is part fruit?..


What type is it?
Honestly there are so many types of seizures.. there's even a leaflet with a list listing everything about them..
from; family planning, driving, medication, support and so much more..

Driving
I can't do that and I'll never be able to, that's one of the worst parts of epilepsy, watching you all 'pass your tests' I'm nearly 24 I took about three lessons and then became an epileptic.

Foggy
It's blurry, scary and everything is just scary, everyday when I wake up I take my medication and just take a deep breath, the bathroom door stays open so if I have one Liam can 'find me'..

Lights
I'm affected by fatigue and low blood sugar but flashing lights scare me, it's a 'cause' to the majority of epileptics, a light flashes and my eyes hurt, my head KILLS and I just need to 'lay down'.

Drinking
Recently as I've suffered so many sezuires, I havent had alcohol in ages! *world record* especially for me.. but yes I do drink, Malibu is my fave!! And I'm probably not meant to drink..
I'm only young..


https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/types-seizures


Don't be scared to be around me, I'm still human I just have a different brain..