And then..

And thats when it hit me,
the fact this is real and this is really happening
University and the fact I'm in year three

The fact that I'm capable of sending my dissertation to my mum and not screaming or getting angry when she replies with ' I've just sent some suggestions Liz'..
The fact that when I walk to through the library the tutors talk TO me, not AT me and people smile.
No one patronises me anymore, I'm me and I've created a different version of me.

My version of normal.

A version of someone who doesn't need to check my blog posts for spelling mistakes because my brain can realise when I've mis spelt something..

My brain can realise when its going to 'blow' and scream.

Thats when it hit me.

The turnitin page loading..

The page every student hates but loves secretly because it means we've achieved something we dreaded for months..

something that caused my seizures which by the way have calmed down because I realised stress and lack of sleep were the cause for my sezuires..

I keep replaying my neurophysycologist saying 'You won't return to university Elizabeth' especially not for a long time..

Yeah Yeah..

I'm here, I'm me

And then.

The page loaded :)