so called 'friends'

So this is just a blog post to explain the mental and emotional feelings you get with a stroke, and finding out your true friends...

My old friends hardly talk to me, I can only imagine it's because I can't go out and drink, But who knows..

I've found out who my true friends are throughout this whole process, it's strange because before my stroke I used to imagine i'd find out when I was like 50... But when you go through something as big as a stroke you find out within months, it can literally be from who takes time out of their day to send you a text, to who actually asks to meet up with you or offers to take you out.

I find it hard to hold conversations, my brain tries to keep up but my mind just can't, when people take me out and ask me ''are you tired? do you want me to take you home?'' I just say no, because i'm not giving into  whats happened to me, i'm not gonna let my stroke win.
So fucking bring it on stroke.

I constantly think to myself that maybe my so called friends are scared, scared of if something happens, scared of if I get tired and that they wouldn't know what to do. Well guys it's really not hard, you just have to treat me like a normal human and help me with tiny things like; doing my bag up, opening doors for me and silly things that you can do without thinking about.

I don't know what my future has in store for me, but I don't want to spend it being miserable and wishing i'd done something differently.

When I read my first blog posts I cry because I literally never imagined life as it is now. I never thought i'd be walking again or doing 'normal things' again. but I am, and i'm just living every moment as if it's my last. Because you never know whats round the corner.


Don't tell me you're gonna come over and not turn up, don't tell me you're looking forward to seeing me and when you do just stare at me like i'm a freak.

Don't add me as a friend and not talk to me, it's weird and rude.


I don't want fake friends I don't want people who have no interest in following my progress, I certainly don't need the stress and I don't want people to treat me differently. I can still talk, I can still understand, my brain is badly affected but i'm still a human.

Imagine if you were in my position and you had literally no idea why your 'friends' don't talk to you.


I know it's a two way process but my brain isn't 100% functioning properly so it's a little bit harder for me..