So I'm not going to give up because my main goal since my stroke is to not let the stroke define me or beat me as some people can just completely give up and give in to what their strokes done to them..
I'm only 21 i've got the rest of my life to live yet..
Last night me and my nan had a huge heart to heart about what I want to do with my life, if i'm going to go back to the same uni course and same job..
I'm nowhere near ready yet but thats what I want to do, I mean if I gave them up, my stroke would of won? Surely...
How do you do it? I mean how did I wake up early for work and use both hands i've actually forgotten...
My life has become hospital appointments and checking i'm not bloody dribbling on the left side of my mouth. Oh wait and checking my walkings 'normal' how fun, aye?
I miss everything that I did before, I miss getting ridiculously drunk and not having to think 'will this make me have a sezuire tomorrow?' Now it's 'why the hell is that person staring at me' 'Why are they looking at me like i'm a freak?' Because i'm not.. i'm still human, I just struggle with what you can do and don't need to think about...
As the conversation between me and my nan carried on, about how she thinks I need structure and something to do during my lonely days at home while my friends are earning a living and getting on with uni, I just looked at her and then yeah the tears came she grabbed me and squeezed me so tight her little strands of curly hair went up my nose (sorry nan).
I just weaped "I can't do this nan, I can't be like this, why me? why not someone whos done something awful?'' She didn't really know what to say, no one does because it's impossible to answer, what would you say?
All I want in life is to be happy and work again no matter what my situation is.
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