I'm fucking terrified.

It's been my main goal to return to uni and I make out that I'm excited, I am but

It scares me,

I've had disability meetings about;

What help I'll need

How they can support me

What I'll need to re-do and when to start the work

What if on the first day I walk through the doors and cry? 

I look around the class I'll be with for three years and hate them all?

I don't make friends because I'm disabled?

People laugh at me?

I can't walk in thinking in the best because I've completed some of first year already, I'll have some random sitting with me every fucking day.

Checking MY work

Walking round carrying my stuff..

Sounds really good to some people but thinking of getting even more stares makes me want to cry.

I can't even imagine if I have to stand up and talk in front of everyone..

What if my speech goes funny? What if I have a seizure?

Can I trust the random class of people to help me and to understand what's happening?

I'll miss just walking into class and sitting down like everyone else.

'Liz you'll adjust to it it'll get better'

What if it doesn't 

What if I fail..

£9,000 wasted.

People might read this and assume I'm not ready or it's too soon.

I'm not going to say you're wrong, it might be..

I just want and wanted to prove it can and will do whatever it takes to get my life back.

Support me don't judge me.