please don't

The thing I find hard to understand is when someone tells me "I look well"
you don't understand how hard everyday can be, just getting the motivation to actually get out of bed tires me out. Even looking around a shop tires me to the point where I cry because I want my bed. Walking to the town takes more energy than it's worth. Having a conversation is so tiring I can't hold a proper conversation anymore. When you've had a stroke you feel like you'll never be like you were before. You have random people stare at you when all you're trying to do is live your life and appreciate everyday. You sometimes fake smiles to pretend you're not hurting inside and pretend that you feel like the strokes not  destroyed your life. When really it's destroyed alot of your brain.
Today I actually bucked up the courage to walk alone without my stick, I was scared,I was hurting inside and my body ached. I had random people ask me if I was 'okay' so clearly I look as disabled as I feel. I watched a girl walk really fast infront of me, I kept trying so hard to make my leg move faster,fast enough to just get home quicker.But it didn't work, I cried because all I could do was hobble along. Just being proud that I was walking. Just reminising on the times I'd rushed home from work and been so tired I just wanted to take my shoes off and have a foot massage or a nice relaxing bath. An after stroke ache is so different to that after work feeling. You crave your bed, you want to just sit and calm down. An after stroke tiredness is worse than wearing heels on a night out and having your feet sting when you take them off and touch the ground. You literally feel like a switch in your heads just gone 'ping!! Not anymore lizzie, you need sleep and I'm switching off until you let me rest'.

So please don't tell me 'I look well' it hurts and I just want my life back, and to be the person I was before.
It's harder than you realise and it takes alot of energy to do something you'd find easy.