My first visit

Oh great a group of people im like... 

Old, vulnerable, confused, slow, lost and smiling even though it hurts.. 

I hate it. 

I walked into the blood clinic already nervous because it's something I've not done since my stroke; something new, something uncomfortable and to me something I'm not feeling that confident with, especially after falling and nearly breaking my neck last night.. 

'Hello I've got an appointment at 12' 

( it's 11...)

'Wow you're early!' 

'Yeah I know, sorry I've never been here before and wanted to make a good impression'

In my head thinking.. 

'Well I've got fuck all else to do..'

But remembering to be 'polite and nice'

I wait in some scuzzy room surrounded by old people holding their yellow books..

'Here you go Elizabeth if you go on down and you'll be seen'

( my yellow book as if you guys are stupid and wouldn't actually be able to know what one looks like..)

'Oh hello you!' 

(A nurse who would test my blood in hospital)

She then pricked my finger and squeezed loads of blood out.. 

I tried not to look as the first time I was on blood thinners I fainted.. 

She then asked me to wait outside 

So I did.. Anxiously 

'Number 27 please' 

I slowly walked into another scuzzy room .. 

'Oh you're Elizabeth aren't you!' 

I looked at her confused.. 

'Yeah why? Is that bad ha' 

'No not atall my lovely! It's just nice to put a face to a name I've heard so much about'.. 

I just laughed thinking 

(Urgh great, as if life can't be any more stressful, I now need to hide my face..)

'Well your blood was perfect! And on target'

I smiled so much.. 

Every week I get so scared; Argh what if my bloods going to be really thick? Urgh what if eating so many foods that I love are going to cause another stroke.. 

Well that's passed now as my next test  isn't for two weeks.. 

'Well you're on the same dose Elizabeth! So no need to change, but can I ask why you came off warfarin?' 

'Yeah my hair started falling out.. I don't need to be bald I've already had a stroke' 

She laughed.. 

Kind of made a serious conversation turn interesting and I did that! 

I walked to the desk 'wow that was quick!' 

( same nurse telling me I was early as if I had no idea..) 

I smiled, and arranged the next appointment.. 

Quoting that I'd like the 12 o'clock again as 'everyone likes a lay in..' 

She laughed too, 

so I walked out smiling..

I then got on the bus that stank of actual shit. And walked down my road still smiling, 

All the stress of basically life has gone, my bloods perfect, no clots, no thickness 

'In range' as nurses say.. 

'Mike.. Guess what!'

'What?'

'My blood was perfect 

( I gave a huge smile) 

Now all I've got to deal with is the fact I smeared blood all over my screen as I wrote this.. 

But that'll be a worry that's passed by the end of the day..