Speech & language therapy

My speech tone changed on the 10th of February thats it, 

I mix up words and struggle to say scentences.. 

"Wait does that make sense?"

Normally it does but I cant exactly stand up in a uni crit and ask that..

'Right elizabeth what is it you want to learn and gain from speech therapy?!'

*blank..*

Do I tell them that mum actually wants me to do this and im genuinely really unsure of how to answer this question because "I dont know if my answer makes sense"..

*sits up straight and looks confident*

"Personally I find emotions hard to process, I can't actually recognise when; someones joking, being sarcastic, angry, trying to help, complimenting me and so on.. 

Usual daily tasks what I could before 

I mean I laugh more than I should if someone tells a joke and everyone else starts laughing, just to fit in.. 

And we all know I probably look really odd, most of the day I don't actually understand the joke, when im alone with the person whos told me I turn and say "what did that mean?! Was I meant to laugh?" 

Lifes a blur, is that normal?! I also want to gain more confidence when talking to people, its stopped me making friends at uni because I really cannot be bothered to get odd looks and explain everything..

"Okay, we can help you"

"Lets start with some tests"..

I resulted back to feeling how I did in hospital; learning, developing, struggling, upset, sitting multiple exams..

"Okay, lets start!"

"Wait, was that rude?!"

*lizzie shut up*

We sat in a really pale boring looking dull room surrounded by clocks and computers..

I was facing two ladies who pulled out books that you'd show your toddler when teaching them how to speak.

*oh for christ sake, im now a child*

"Okay, can you tell me as many words/things you can think of that begin with the letter T"

*bloody hell..*

So I did...

"That was great!"

*I hope so because it wasn't exactly something I struggle with..*

"Okay now we need you to do some sums involving numbers.."

*lizzie why did you bunk maths all the time?!*

I looked at this long list of sums; times tables, adding up, subtracting and division..

I think...

I tried my best leaving my working out on the bottom on the page, thinking I looked really cool and intelligent.. 

"There you go! Done.."

*lizzie get rid of the smile they can tell its really fake..*

I did many more;

Telling them what pictures they showed me were; animals, clothing, numbers, symbols and so on..

"So what we can tell is that the right side of your brain is still very damaged, but we can help"

*oh bloody hell! Tell me something I don't know!*

Another phase of my recovery started..

I moaned to my mum about how 

"Im sick of recovery!"

"I fucking hate it!!" ...

*mum looks blank knowing she has to be honest*

"Liz, its something you have to do, you're getting better.. Youve had a huge brain injury"