It's been a while..

Firstly sorry to all those who actually read my blog posts i've been quite busy recently;
you know 'trying to be like everyone else'

I wrote my first essay on an artist whom i've always loved;
Tracey Emin - very disturbed artist but I find her work so interesting.

After handing it into my mentor; (the lady who reviews my work, notes, essay's and checks i'm getting enough help).

She read through my version,
I asked mum to read it as well and obviously as any mum would she made notes..
I decided to hand in the copy i'd edited and written as i'd much rather love to see what I might receive ( grade wise).

''Elizabeth that's amazing! you'd receive an A if you changed; this this this and this..i'm going to give it to a tutor to review it and grade it too, i'd be very shocked if they didn't give you an A''

''Oh my god, i've never received an A''

I have weekly counselling at uni,
She's in the 'assessment period';
checking, my history what I need help with and my emotions.

I cried last time as she asked about my parents splitting up, I never really realised exactly how that affected my school life and how emotionally unstable it still makes me, 12 years on.. (I think)

She asked me about past 'relationships' and current ones..
I spoke about how I've had a few boyfriends whom were abusive, controlling and took advantage of how vulnerable I am after my stroke, making me write blogs to 'big them up' Which I now regret.
They still show my progress, but I can reassure you that I wasn't happy.


She asked me to explain everything about my stroke..
I cried as I felt a bit light headed and it made me anxious
''Elizabeth do you still find your stroke hard to overcome''
.. '' I'm sorry please can we just not talk about it, It makes me feel so uncomfortable''

I then spoke about my mum having cancer and how that affected me, I cried about that as it feels like a lifetime ago but I know it still affects my mum everyday.


The other day I collapsed in town, whilst christmas shopping, although it wasn't a seizure which I was happy about, I'd only fainted..

i'm 5 months seizure free!!
(fingers crossed)

Although i've been getting severe headaches recently, which I think are caused by too much pressure in my brain ( signs of my intracranial hypertension coming back).
Which scares me..

Today i'm waiting for my technical support people to install all the software to help me; type on my macbook, write essay's and so on..
To be honest the guy just told me to ''take advantage of what we offer you as you have a budget which we pay for..''
So I have, a dictaphone, you know that thing that records everything... not video wise, only voice for lectures.

Some of the software I know I won't need..


I recently visited Amsterdam;
intact that was last weekend.
me Liam, my mum and stepdad went..
Yes I tried 'Weed' and hash cake, I mean you kind of need to experience everything..

and it apparently helps with epilepsy..

that's my excuse.

I walked so much everyday.


i walked about 2 miles everyday now, and no it's not just shopping.
I'm aiming to loose weight as everyone knows, once you get into a relationship you eat to the point of  putting on weight, then moan about it even though you enjoyed the food..

Also;
I don't use my shower stall anymore!
I stand up and wash..
I do have to use the hand rail to get in though, because it's slippery..

I still wear my AFO ( leg splint) but, I walk faster apparently..

So my recovery is still continuing,
I can't use my arm or hand still, I tried to receive physiotherapy but they told me ''i'm too far on in my recovery for them to help''

So they can piss off..


''over and out'' as people say..