I ignored everyone who said I'll never recover
I've recovered a lot..
I ignored my physios telling me I'll still be in a wheelchair until the start on 2016
I'm walking..
I ignored my psychologist telling me I wouldn't be ready for university till at least 2017
I'm starting in September..
I ignored the thoughts of ending my life to not have to go through the pain of this..
I'm still alive.
I've learnt to do what makes you happy and to not put a time limit on anything, it's about determination and motivation
I've learnt that life's what you make it and you can either give up or try your best.
Things not to say to me;
"Will you make a full recovery?'
No.
My nan/grandad had a stroke, their fine now..
Were they paralysed?
You look fine and you can't even tell..
Shut up and realise that you can tell and no one is 'fine' everyone's hurting inside even if it's for the smallest thing.
'You're so brave'
I'm not, I'm just not going to let my family see me suffer because they wouldn't want me to go.
I'd still flinch if someone had a go at me, I'm not brave.
'How do you do it?'
I honestly have no idea, I'd say just take everyday as it comes and think of how you want to feel better again.
'Lizzie all you talk about is your stroke'
Yeah well duh.. It's been my main focus for over a year and people like you remind me of how I used to be...
These hurt more than anything. And you should think before you speak because everything I hear I take so seriously
My nights out have turned into receiving lectures from people who know me, numorous questions of if I need any help, sympathetic hugs and stares, patronising conversations.
I can't walk away from someone without knowing they'll turn to a friend all I'll be known as
'You know she had a major stroke'
Yep cool..
Don't ever assume you know why me and Luke split up;
' I was so angry that he dumped you after you're stroke, was that why he did it?.. Cunt'
He had to watch me change and had to see me struggle through everything. He might not of been as supportive as my family but he walked away because he has to get on with his life.. You can only support someone so much..
We're civil and I respect him for leaving. It's given me the reason to recover for myself.
Don't judge anyone unless you know the truth..
You know, I never intended to be where I am now, because at one stage I thought it would be physically impossible.
At one stage I thought I was to weak and ruined to carry on..
My support 'network' meaning my family and anyone who's physically helped me, even by helping me walk up a flight of stairs..
Are the ones I remember, not the ones who patronise me and make me feel like a child.
So don't ruin my night out.
I smile as best as I can because I know I once couldn't.
I walk as fast as I can because I'm still aiming to be 'walking ahead'
Recovery is a life long process and I'll never forget that, I'll never attempt to give up again, because yes I have tried.
More than once.
Recovery is 'hard' once again..
'It must be so hard I couldn't do it'
Believe it or not., you could.. You struggle but you don't struggle forever.
My confidence is back and my independence is slowly returning,
I still struggle to do some things..
I'm myself to those who meet me, you either
Hate me or love me. Simple as, there's not an in between..
My brains half on half off or 'shut down' but it's improving everyday,
Yes I'm proud.
I'm still as determined as the first day I took my first steps in the gym..
Yes I'm health conscious.
I have 5 serious illnesses that will never go.
Yes I have ups and downs.
Anyone would..
You recover for yourself and there's no time limit there's not a full recovery, you learn to adapt, you learn to cope.
For yourself and family. Because family is all that matters when you're going through a crisis.
Don't treat me like you understand, don't have a go at me if I say the wrong thing..
not unless you've actually taken the time to read about the type of stroke I had.
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