for those who've just started reading my blog & to almost describe how it feels to learn to walk....
My goal!
All I remember is a room known as the 'gym' situated at the back of the rehabilitation ward at Canterbury hospital.. I remember making it my goal to walk down the long corridor past the rooms where occupational therapy and the 'discharged' meetings took place.
Home Goals
Where you make; cups of tea, cook pasta and fill out a goal sheet that consisted of things you were able to do
*YAY only one more to tick then I can go home!!!*
The Gym
The gym was like a school gym, plinths were spread around, to be honest; ALL were being used by older patients as I was one of the youngest on the stroke/rehabilitation ward..
We had to do sit ups (6 was my main achievement.. then I'd just collapse)
"no please, I'm so tired, please can I just go back to bed..."
You don't realise how important 'strengthening your core is' until you have to stand up on your own..
It was FREEZING! the radio would play some local radio station..
Rather Be..
I remember 'Rather Be - Clean Bandit' was in the charts at the time of my stroke (recovery)
and I can tell you one thing, there are several places I'd rather of been than in that gym, I can't listen to this song now "Turn it off!!" but no one really understands why I hate it..
The Amazing Physiotherapist
I remember my physiotherapist was literally amazing! his name was Richard and he helped me with so much, from gaining confidence to being stronger and much more..
He stopped me walking in a diagonal line and made sure I was 'walking properly' because there is a right and wrong way..
I actually walked past him when I was out clubbing for my 22nd (last year) that was odd.. he didn't recognise me..
"You'll be in a wheelchair for a long time.. I'd say a few months?"
Her name was Lizzie, Richard wasn't in on this day, I remember I asked the same question everyday 'Will I ever walk again?' 'how long will it take me?' I used to ask my mum how long it took me when I was a baby to 'learn to walk'.. I thought it'd be the same timescale..
But I don't think it was, her lip all shaky thinking
'I can't answer this question, it's impossible'..
I looked at the wheelchair and just burst into tears, thinking about how much I hated it now, but I'd be out in public in it..
It hurt SO much! my bum was so sore and the way people patronise you when you're in one is ridiculous..
Anyway, I still picture Lizzie's face and just squint my eyes thinking 'I will prove you wrong'..
I CAN STAND!!
I won't say names but I remember, being able to stand up (on my own) and actually take a few steps.. obviously I wanted to video this moment, I was laughed at and given a look of disgust, because 'I looked weird'..
The Leg Swing
The majority if not all stroke survivors who've learnt to walk again 'swing their affected leg'.. from the hip, I call it the 'leg swing'.. It's apparently, where you can move your leg and your brain just assumes that swinging from the hip is the 'right way of moving it.. cause the motion is 'up and out'..
IT HURTS!
my hip still aches sometimes, I can't cross my legs because my hip doesn't bend properly..
I still swing my leg but only when I'm really tired.. sometimes I stumble because it'll get caught in front of the other one..
Proved you ALL wrong
I used to wait for my community physiotherapists at home on my mums sofa.. longing for the day I could just walk down the road again and be confident on my own..
My walking stick lent against the arm rest of the sofa (my step dad bought me a shiny black one because in hospital you get given an old wooden one) I was 20 going on 90...
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| 2014 first day home! |
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| 2014 - medication and wooden sticks |
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| the first time I stood up, ON MY OWN! |
Balance & confidence
I knew I was stopped walking outside because of my balance, even now I regret rushing it
(I have scars on my hands, face and legs from falling over as my balance us still quite bad)..
But I just NEEDED to get out, I needed to be that independent and confident 'young woman' I was wishing to be.. sitting in watching Jeremy Kyle is so boring!
Physiotherapy
I don't get physiotherapy anymore, it's ridiculously expensive and I can walk which I feel as though this is the 'main thing'.. I've lived a life wishing to walk and now I can, I'm happy.
.......A Video of me walking (comparison) will be uploaded tomorrow.......
tomorrows blog: WALKING LIFE!
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