As the people that read my blog already know that i'm starting university again in September, To carry on the course I was studying before my stroke; Graphic Design and visual comunications at the university ofd creative arts in Canterbury (UCA).
I passed the first few modules up until December when i'd not reached any grades, So I only need to sit the classes from september till december when I will officially become a student again;
working, studying, creating and learning.. with support.
I was asked to go back in december so i just have to start working straight away, however I decided going back in september would be better; get to now students, get a gist of what university is like after a stroke, see how I cope in lectures and long days...
It's basically so that that I don't rush into it too fast and fail the years of university.
I'm so excited;
I used to hate going to university because i'd be really tired or just being a normal lazy student..
but when you loose the opportunity to do something you did before you almost crave to do it again, which is exactly what i'm going to do;
make the most of it, enjoy it, be myself and almost create a new identity instead of
'Hi i'm Lizzie I had a stroke...'
I mean I know i'll have days where I think
'Urgh I spent all day at university yesterday I honestly can't be bothered to get up and go again'
But mainly because if I 'overdo it' my fatigue kicks in; walking there and back, walking around the uni, listening to people, talking, thinking, taking things in and so on... will 100% tire me out, I mean just going shopping tires me out to the point where my knee's ache and I need a massive lazy day just eating and watching crap television..
I'm sure the old lady that walks past my front room window and looks in ( pretending she's not) will miss me, i'll miss her...
I would say i'll really miss the endless amounts of housework I do around the house ( yes mum you'll disagree)..
It'l be nice to come home and have something interesting to talk about and tell other people about; what i've learnt, who I made friends with...
I'll probably carry on doing my work when I get home after university..
I used to come home and just sit there getting so into my sketchbooks; I loved doing typography and laying out the pages really neat, obviously with one hands it wont look as good (without sounding big headed) but it wont be as neat ( yes mum you might need to help)
I used to look forward to buying all the equipment for the term before I went back;
I still have the boxes in my room full of pens in different colours and bull-point pens, with chewed ends..
I have all the stuff I had from my BTEC extended diploma that I studied there;
I remember they gave us that had paid for one a huge transparent box, almost like a tool box;
we all say there opening everything up, using the white tac to stick on the tables and the stanley knives to chop bits of the wooden tables off..
It'll be so different now, entering a world of struggles and new people,
so please university bring back my confidence and independence and please make sure that the support I will get will stop me coming home to my mum and stepdad demanding support and help on how to lay out an essay.
I'll try, i'll turn up and it'll be the main goal of my long recovery journey.
once upon a time I was told I might not ever recover enough to back, even thinking about the walk scared me.. I'll get there and back. I've walked there since..
You wont beat me and you wont destroy my dreams or goals, i'm carrying on to fight you. I've never had a fight and I hate them but you're for life and I know i'll beat you.
Also;
Please can the government drop the fee's of university because it'd very expensive for someone who might have a long term disability to pay back
(as mum would say hashtag just saying) I can'y find the hashtag on this macbook, so hopefully I find out where that is..
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