Sunday, 21 June 2015

Just face the crowd

My second holiday since my stroke or 'accident' as I've started calling it,
The first one was about 7 months after, I remember clenching onto the airplane arm rest taking in deep breaths, then the tears started streaming down my face as I looked at my mum and said 'what if I have another stroke when we're in the air?!?!' 
'Liz, you're on all the right medications'
I remember waddling around, with a 'drop foot' that was so bad I was falling all over the place, and trying so hard to smile in photos but realising my face was still drooped..

This time, I watched the airplane take off, smiling and feeling like I was leaving a place I dread so much. Sometimes... 
I walked to the terminal which on the last holiday I struggled with.

Today I fell onto my ankle as I wasn't wearing my splint ( the massive plastic thing I can't walk without).

'Oh hello Madame you have hurt your leg yes?' 
'Oh yeah I fell over and broke my arm and leg'
Mum smiled.. 'I thought it's easier than having to explain all about a stroke..' 
Mum smiled.

I realised I can't tan anymore, maybe because I stayed in my house for the first year of my recovery, or perhaps because of the amount of medication I take.. 
I've learnt so many things that I'll learn  to adapt too

I've watched people walk around the pool and swimming, I've watched them walking along the sand; bumps and wonky parts of the sand holes.
Something I really struggle with..
I try to look at them and think 'make the most of that because it could be gone before you know it'
Then I think 
'Lizzie you've come so far and you should be proud of what you can do , not upsetting yourself over things you can't.

Every day is a new experience for me and every day I've learnt something I can't do.. But I know it'll improve 

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