Hospitals..

appointments are literally a weekly thing, I'd say task but believe it or not sometimes I enjoy it, venturing out of the flat and walking to a destination I know I'm safe in, somewhere I can hold my head higher than normal and feel proud of everything I've achieved so far,

I do the whole
"Hell yeah I've beaten a stroke"
*in my head*

The looks from older people are actually much worse, they look at me as if I'm not allowed to have a disability..

As you follow the loooooong corridor down the hospital passing the beeping number for the 'blood section' and the porters who if you're lucky (in my case) smile and say hi, *not sure if that's a good thing, am I a regular?*
And you  pass numerous plastic stands with leaflets basically explaining EVERYTHING you could ever be diagnosed with, the ones you probably have stacks of at home (I do) and never read..

And as you reach your 'designated destination of joy or anxiety you stumble across the really strong liquid that you kind of HAVE to use when you enter a; ward, room or leave the toilets.. you'll all know the one;
Strong antibacterial liquid. And then they bought out a moisturiser version to 'satisfy your needs' and soften your hands because this stuff is VILE. Like rubbing nail varnish remover all over your hands..

To be honest I actually avoid the stuff, mainly because it's horrible and I'm not planning on rubbing my hands all over people..
*thats not a part of me*

Always been told to 'keep my hands to myself'

Anyway;
When I come 'visit' or enter the hospital (Kent and Canterbury) for any appointment
I WAS told to 'write a list of questions' for the doctor I'm seeing.. (this is by the idiot neuropsychologist whom I don't see but slag off constantly)
I honestly don't think I've ever written a list, my memory is still really affected and you'll be reading this thinking
'I forget things all the time, that's normal!' Yeah not when it's about your health? My memory was much worse but I think it's improving (all part of the brain injury)

People give me a quick look up and down and they make it SO obvious! Like I said it's usually older people, which shocks me.. once I sat down and some lady moved seats..
my rude and abrupt brain was so close to lashing out 'IM NOT A DISEASE!'
My nan always tells me to just accept my disability because even on the bus I've been shouted at for 'sitting in a disabled seat it's like Catherine Tate
'face, bothered? Am I bothered?'

As I'm writing this, it might be because I'm currently listening to music ridiculously loud like a typical young adult, some guy is giving me the dirtiest look..
I literally just smile a really sarcastic smile and they look away, or I look them up and down because they've done it to me..

Im currently the youngest person in this really badly air conditioned room full of red leather chairs and the occasional smell of newspapers people are flicking through to pass the time, because..
Doctors take FOREVER!!

Another look..  and another sarcastic smile,
I think I should probably write a list of questions now..
After all it is 'my health'