Reflecting..

I don't think I've written a reflection blog post recently, I just kind of add in slight improvements that I achieve..

*Three years ago today*
You know the Facebook memories that appear on your 'on this day' section..

I always cringe because I think 'oh god, what drunk picture will it be today'..

Today;
Along with a picture of me and Liam was a photograph of me, 'looking' but I can assure you PRETENDING to be happy..

The day I returned my wheelchair & walking sticks..

Standing, I repeat STANDING! outside the 'stroke ward' that I spent three loooong months of my life.. *kingston ward*
A ward I will never forget; vivid memories of older patients, some dying and others just looking to ill to process what day it was, The smell is a smell I will never forget..

Why did I have a photograph outside here? First of all, I'm sorry to my stepdad who I basically forced to take this photo of me, standing tall and holding myself in a way that when I look back I realise how fake the 'happiness' was, how I would pretend to be someone I wasn't...

The stroke survivor;
I tried the ambassador role, basically my life was becoming my stroke "I hate everything"
"Two months today since I learnt.."
I have 500 friends on Facebook and probably only 30 actually 'follow me' due to how depressing I was..

I look back and sometimes actually feel sick at how much I was pouring out, I mean I had to be strong but I was weaker than weak..

I don't like the definition of 'oh you had the stroke at 20' I HATE it.. this is why I stopped with the ambassador role, not that I don't support the stroke association but I'd much rather have a life?

The tattoo phase..
'Might get stroke survivor as a tattoo' CRINGE! Yeah glad I didn't.. I'm always reminded of my disability and this is just a cover up of trying to be 'recognised' which I don't want..

Walking;
I walk everyday, with a splint obviously.. this is a normal thing now, I love walking!! I trip sometimes but like I said "I walk to fast" *my bad*

Be positive;
Mentally and physically, it helps with recovery, my droop is improving because I am happy now and it's not fake *always smiling* I still share positive quotes because they do help, people must get sick of seeing them but sometimes you need a boost from a quote created by someone else..

University;
I'm nearly at year three!! I've had family members assume I won't actually get employed because of my disability and that upsets me, I mean "who are you?" Don't judge my recovery..
Something I was told I'd never achieve was even returning and there is no better feeling than walking to university and knowing I'm going to learn!

Appreciate life;
Always stand strong, smile even when you're hurting and never give up, life's tough at times..

I've learnt to deal with every situation as it comes, I still struggle and always will but I'm learning to deal with my faults..

And this blog is a reflection of a bad time in my life, including positivity to aim forwards..

and no I didn't get the tattoo :) ...