Baths aren't the same

So because of my epilepsy and stroke I have to have help getting in and out of a bath, my mum bless her sits outside the door on the noisy step waiting for the 'mum! I'm ready' call to get me out of the bath, ''right Liz put your right leg over the bath and balance on your left'' 

And every time I forget so I get her to repeat it, it's so bad now that I literally can't be bothered to have baths, you get in them to; relax, chill, have a face mask and just try to forget everything. 

but when you're sitting on a Matt that stops you slipping so you don't drown and have a cushion behind your head to stop you smacking your head, and knowing you have a poor person waiting outside for the wretched call of  

'I'm ready now''  and opening the door to a girl just sitting in a bath, that's gone cold by the time she's tried to spend in there, struggling to actually stand up to leave it, skin so wrinkly and brain so confused she physically needs to be lifted out as if she's still paralysed in her leg. 

That's the baths I have, not relaxing, not enjoyable or long, just me shivering in the bath tub because the waters so shallow so I can't drown if I had a sezuire and because if I were to lay down is be stuck and couldn't get myself up as I'm so weak in my arms. 

It's the little things I miss the most. Like relaxing and de stressing in the bath tub