I don't understand

I sit through endless hospital appointments and doctors talk at me, doctors that don't really know how to talk to me and haven't actually read through my notes to the point where I literally want to cry, it's all to much, it takes away my pain and fear of everything feeling like it's going to get better. 

How do you overcome the fear of feeling like your brain and body is eating you up slowly as well as trying to take in advice by different doctors for endless illnesses that aren't being checked regularly.

J'ust stop'

Please just stop, make them shut up and take the care of atleast trying to help me understand.

I honestly don't like this life, this life is so much more stressful and irritating, 

'What medication are you on elizabeth' 

Ummm... 'You do realise I have memory loss'

Don't treat me like I understand you, I've tried writing everything down in a notebook. 

I'm so sick of sitting in waiting rooms listening to other people making friends with everyone waiting aswell, it's so bad that when I stood up and a man who'd been talking so loud about his health went 

'See there's always someone much worse off than you' 

Thought the next 20minutes I had to sit through a doctor talking at me, thinking 'do I really look that bad?' 'Am I really that obviously unwell' I started to cry and the doctor looked so confused, I just had to explain that it happens and nod to everything he said to me from then on

A nurse said she saw me on the news and that I was doing so well, makes me feel so ill knowing the nurses know me as a regular visitor to their waiting room.