'Wow well don't you look better!'
'Ha, thankyou!'
Two older patients were sitting in their beds/bed side hospital chair, their names above them as if they were waiting to be 'picked up' I glimpsed quickly as I walked through, the lady too my rights head shot up and she just glared with a look of; helplessness and 'cry for help' in her eyes, The man to my left, with a 'Why me, get me out of here' look.
I spent everyday in that stroke ward, watching people who loved and cared for me, pop in and out, some had travelled miles and some not as far. I saw faces I didn't recognise and faces I hadn't seen for years, I probably gave them 'the look' while I sat there unable to hold a conversation and making their trip to 'see me' pointless. The endless amounts of hugs I recieved and kisses to my cheek (the side I could feel) and amount of different people giving me the
'You'll get there talk' I couldn't take it in or really process anything that was being said or listen to you without wanting too fall asleep.
But To those who took the time effort and thoughtfulness to visit me on that ward I can promise you, it never went unnoticed or understood, you helped me get here today and you will always be the main part of my recovery, I'm sorry I couldn't give you the old me to chat to and give you loads of laughs and huge conversations to go back home and tell you're friends 'yeah she's doing really well' instead you got the worst stage of me, a stage where I was just like those older patients, the tears the cries the tight hugs that never wanted to let go and the sorrow ness that was in my eyes where I'd just want to walk out that ward with you. Dan looked at me
'you're like a mini celeb in here'
'Yeah but I'd rather not be babe'
we laughed and came home. But I will never get the stares out of my head and will never let go of the sadness in their eyes.
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