Second nature

Considering I used to get exhausted after I'd walked 15metres I find walking like a second nature now..

I can walk as far as I need aslong as I have a destination to reach, 

When I first had my stroke I was given this rank wooden stick that when they gave me it I actually threw it and cried;

'Can't you give me a nicer one!'

'No this is all the hospital provides sorry..'

My mum went out of her way to ensure that when I came home I'd have a nicer one, a black shiny one that you could fold up..

I hated my physio I had in hospital, all because of a stick.. Crazy. 

But now I thank him for giving me the greatest gift of life; being able to have the strength to walk.. 

When I came out of hospital, me and my stepdad dropped off the sticks so others could use it... More age appropriate.

I was in a wheelchair for 2months until I finally just aimed to walk and push past my fatigue, I'd say that's the hardest thing you get from a stroke.. 

It's a battle; a battle of, wondering if you'll ever see a day not suffering tiredness, I was so hurt by the fact just looking around a shop would make me physically exhausted..

I find that when I walk for long periods of time, my knee aches to the point of it shaking (clonus) apparently... Literally looks like I'm trying to dance,

Then they see the outline of my splint and instantly stare at me knowing it's probably normal.. 

Walking up hill is the shittest bit about walking, and down hill.. I have to take a really deep breath before facing a subway because I always have to hold onto the right hand side rail.. 

Going up or down.. 

Which means I can't hold my arm, so it sticks out in a bent position, So more people stare.. 

I love the fact I can walk mainly because I remember the amount of tears I cried about not being able too, and the days spent wondering if I would atleast get some normality back in my fucking confusing world or 'new life' 

That professionals say you're weaker, but I'd say I'm stronger; inside & out. 

I've battled things I never ever imagined I'd battle before, I've beaten something that unfortunately some people don't. 

But all in all (if that's a saying) I find walking is much more enjoyable now, I always get excited to walk anywhere even to the toilet just because I know I can sit myself up and walk, on my own with no stick, no one telling me I'm 'walking wrong'

'You're placing your foot wrong lizzie'