My recovery starts now

This time last year I was unable to walk and was laying in my hospital bed after 3 months of shock worry and confusion towards why it happened to me, 

'Why can't I be normal?'

'Why can't I walk?'

'I've never smoked so why me?'

'Maybe it's karma...'

The unknowing hurt more than the fact I was incapable of living a normal life, 

This time last year was my final night in the place I longed to leave from day one..

'Lizzies home countdown!!'

Was next to my bed.. 

I'd longed for the day, the day I could set foot in my house, live my life, Start my recovery.. 

'When you get home your recovery slows down' 

Mine sped up, I was gaining confidence and so much more determination to get better and be Lizzie again, 

Just not the crazy girl who would drink loads and stumble in heels

My mum packed up all my stuff, smiling so much as she knew in the morning or afternoon the next day, I'd be returning to the house, a bit scared behind that smile as she knew the house wasn't 'stroke survivor proof' 

(Rails, slip proof matts)...

I cried as she left me that night, as I was so nervous to return to a place I'd only visited twice in 3 months, 

'No one will visit me'

'I had a stroke in the bed I'll be in..'

'I can't even walk to go shopping'

'I'm scared mum'

And it was fine... 

The shock was overcome within months until I was ready to walk outside with physios that'd visit me weekly.. 

'Right there's a carers organisation that can visit you at home, help you shower and stuff liz'

' no mum I'm not 80'

'Yes but you can't walk so you need help..'

It was all arranged; the nurses, the physio, the ot visiting, the medication routine.. 

'I'll miss pauline' 

(The crazy old lady who was my entertainment opposite me)

'Can I walk to the entrance tomorrow?!?'

'No love, you need a wheelchair, you can't walk yet..'

Again I cried,

'Great, I'm gonna be stuck in that thing getting fat and laughed at'

When I returned home it was the best day of my life

I learnt to walk and do what I used to do.. 

I learnt to cook l learnt to gain independence and started to feel a bit normal 

I missed doing what I did before 

But this was the start on my long journey 

To recover and become who I am now..