Messing with my head..

'Lizzie you do know I'm leaving at the end of the month don't you?'

My throat warms up as I try to swallow it tingles as if I'm going to burst into tears, my eyes start to twitch as I prevent the tears incase they think I'm as insane as i seem...

'No I didn't know'

I respond like I don't care, like I'm just over it and not hurt or feeling anxious of a replacement 

My mind all confused and jumbled already with;

'Not another one'

'What if they don't understand my problems'

'What if they can't help me'

Since the first month of my recovery I've had people walk into my life.. My damaged life, my healing brain..

'Liz it's normal it happens'

'I know mum but I get attached'

You've helped me for a short period of time during a long journey of recovery.. 

'They gain experience and move on'..

My lip shakes and my heart sinks..

'BUT I DONT WANT TO BE AN EXPERIENCE!'

I have stronger feelings and a brain that clings onto people, you can't just enter and leave my life without leaving scars and tears, you become a distant memory always playing on my healing brain..

My learning support assistant is leaving, just like occupational therapists and physios, they've helped me at times I struggled but leave like I can just 'get over it'

I know I will but I'm used to it now... 

Onto  the next one...