get up and get on with it

I had so many weird looks from my mum this morning because I literally for the first time since January (before my stroke) woke up, had a shower and blow-dryed my hair. Normally i'll ask her because it makes my fatigue so bad and I wouldn't be able to carry out the day.
I literally walked downstairs and got 'oh hey Liz'' and the most shocked face as if to say ''Wow you're back, the old Lizzie's here'' It literally made me so happy.

I also posted a video of my walking (something I tend to do when a stroke anniversary is coming up, so when i'm old and grey or feeling down I can look back and see how far i've come)
I posted it on a group that i'm on, thats full of stroke survivors, all positive feedback, and some of the ''oh I wish  I could walk like that! I walk like a zombie''
Not gonna lie but if you don't put the effort in you wont get a good result, would you? I know it's hard, because my Physio in hospital stopped me walking for 3 months and everyday wether it be 9am, 12am, 10am or something, i'd be forced to do an hours session of 'bed exercises' i'd even sit there and cry to him saying the usual ''when can I walk again?''
'' will I ever be able to walk around town and shop?''
His response would be...
''Well it'll take about a year, but if you don't put any effort in you wont get anywhere, will you?''

Now it's dawned on me, if you don't try you wont get anywhere. You'll be stuck in the same ''I'm a failure pit''.

When I was having my radio interview the other day I realised something that has made everything so clear to me, My ex would be clubbing every weekend surrounded by girls dressed up and probably grinding on him like theres no tomorrow, and working where I worked.  I aimed to be back to that, rather than just being able to walk and 'get to a normal lifestyle'
I literally said:
'' I recovered for someone else, not myself'' And recently i've been recovering for myself not someone who's treating me how I used to be and will never be again.
Then it all made me realise, I literally felt like I'd been hiding it from everyone, But now it's clear, since recovering for myself i'm; happier, achieving more, going out more and doing everything I cried about wanting to do in hospital.

Put the effort in and see what you gain. It might take; years, months and feel like a waste of time but when you look back, you'll see it was all worth it. Be selfish and think of yourself, no one else, you're the only one who can make it happen. Don't waste your time thinking about someone who doesn't give a shit about you.  ( to put it bluntly)