The last time I was laying on that bed was when I was physically hoisted onto it by paramedics and the last face id seen was my mum who couldn't look at me because she would just cry, I remember being so confused because all I could remember was
'Liz wake up!'
'Liz come on you've got uni'
'Sue she's had a stroke'
'Mum I can't move, I can't lift my arm'
'Do I call 999 Liz what do you want me to do?'
'Sue call 999 hurry come on'
'Liz come on open your eyes just look at me'
'Hello is this Elizabeth?'
'Yeah she's up here she's laying on the stairs'
'Hi Elizabeth can you hear me?'
'Yeah I can but I can't move'
'That's okay my love, you're in safe hands now'
I could just hear my mum and mike having a conversation with the paramedics who tried to carry me downstairs,
'Yeah she's 20, she was fine yesterday but recently she's had a few sezuires, I just came upstairs and shed just woken up paralysed'
As I was lifted into a bed and transferred into the ambulance to confused to even think and so tired from not sleeping much.
My mum rushed into the ambulance and sat next to me as I just looked at her terrified and confused.
Today I relived the experiences I had on that day. Not physically but mentally. You can hear the magnets being spun round your head and the frustration of 'when is this going to stop?!' You can't close your eyes because it's a waste of time, you just lay there anxiously thinking about life
But for me I had all the worst memories come back, the memories I thought wouldn't ever come back. I then started crying.
Luckily for me my scan was clear and only had a tiny scar of where the blood clot was, basically a faded section.
'How long ago did this happened?'
'Umm 9 months ago why?'
'No worries' but of course I'm sitting here panicking thinking it's bad.
No comments:
Post a Comment