I can't be like the rest of you

One thing I've learnt this year is that maybe the night I wore my heels this year I should of probably appreciated making my legs feel slim and look toned. Perhaps that night when I stumbled and my ankle turned out was a huge warning sign for the fact is never wear heels again. 

Everything dress or skirt that I wear is worn with tights to hide my hideous splint, that even the people who knew about my stroke would still point and look confused or slag me off to their mates saying 'oh my god wtf is that' knowing full well if I didn't have it I'd probably break my ankle 

I can't change my nail colour every night like I used too, constantly trying out random Barry m colours just to see if they'd look like shellac depending on how thick I'd done them. 

I can't hug my boyfriend with both hands or arms, so for now it's the one armed grip. 

I can't stand for to long without my leg shaking like a lunatic. It even does it in bed it's my legs way of reminding me I'm extremely tired (just sit down not only are you 9stone but I'm physically failing) 

I will probably never be 'normal' enough to actually be invited out again, no matter how much of a bold front I put on, even to pizza express.. That's the worst part, I'll never experience dough balls again unless I go with my family

I can't go a week without having a blood test, not only to remind me I'm different but to remind me I'm either at huge risk of another stroke or, my bloods behaving. 

I get extremely bad when it comes to holding a conversation, I forget I get confused and I'll look really upset half way through when in my head I'm thinking (when can I sleep? As much as I like this person when can I just sit and feel relaxed again, please?!?!)

There's so many more and I'm sure as the years go on I'll have enough to write a novel. 

According to my mum, 'this too shall pass....