You're ill Lizzie

I read through my old diary (2014) which I kept so I could see how different life is now; how far I've come, how much has changed, how things are better now, how I am a lot happier now than last year)

I've always been a very organised person since I started working and having to plan my life in terms of uni and stuff..

I've definitely become worse in terms of organisation because of my stroke (memory loss) 

I always need to know; what I'm doing, what time is best, how I'm gonna plan to get ready, what I'll need, when to wake up.. 

This is mainly because I struggle with change to the point where I screamed in my mums face just because I had to wear a new leg splint (it got so bad she's hidden it) as she knew I'd try to find it.. 

So after reading through my diary from last year I saw January and aimed not to look but.. I did, 

Only to see what I was actually doing the whole time I was ill.. 

Work: 11-5 (called in sick)

Work 3-7 (came home as I was sick)

Had a sezuire.. 

Had an essay due at uni- ( left uni at 1) 

That was my life... 

Struggling & just being ill, not realising that my body was screaming out to me 

'Lizzie you're near to a near death experience please save yourself & your e life'

Basically if it was in a book..

It'd be in the largest boldest and brightest colour just so you couldn't miss it, or ignore it... 

But I did, I've always aimed to be a determined person, 

I'd push past the factors of how to avoid being ill, I'd still choose drinking on the weekend over sleeping and drinking water 

Everyone needs time to reflect & just chill out.. 

My life's definitely improved and obviously become at some points really fucking shit. 

But I've learnt to never dismiss; if I feel ill, 

Never push it away and just calm down instead of rushing everything