My brains taking over my life

I actually can't deal with being here, it's like I feel to confused to even sleep. I get so disorientated and feel like my bodies a completely different person to me, I just want it to stop like I just want to be normal again I just want my life back. To literally walk out of my room and everything to just magically come back; my life, my strength, my brain, my skin, my voice, my whole world basically. 

I'm so confused that I can't process anything anymore it's like everything's a massive blur to me. I get odd looks and fake smiles but it hurts to much to cope with anymore, I literally wish this was a dream and to be able to wake up and have some huge adventure to tell people. I see this as karma for all the bad things I did in life, like being so rude and horrible to people