Shit
Hell
Boring
And confusing
You look around wondering who's the last person that looked at your dodgy arm or watched you wobble to your destination,
I wonder how many people know what's happened to me...
I wonder who realises how hard everyday can be
You never realise how hard something like this can be until it happens.
'Oh hi I saw you in the newspaper'
Yeah I regret that...
I gave a nurse an hours lecture about strokes today, all I was there for was to have a blood test for an appointment I've got about my kidneys
It started by the usual
'Oh what happened to your arm'
Her pretend sympathetic face was priceless. I carried on by talking about strokes and why I had one..
She then decided to say she nearly had one but carried on by saying 'I still smoke though' don't bullshit to me.
I just laughed and went 'well I always said it would never happen to me and I nearly died so yeah haha'
But seriously though I'd give up the smoking...
That was the first bit of advice I was gonna give this lady the second was
' you know your body more than anyone and only you can tell when you're not right'
She smiled, 'wow your mum must be a very proud lady you're so determined'
'To be honest, I could sit there and feel sorry for myself constantly or do something to change it, I've been given a second chance at life I may aswell make the most of it'
She smiled as I walked out.. Slowly...
I then sat waiting for the bus home with the largest smile on my face.
An ambulance passed me with the fast advert on it. Again I smiled
'Yeah I survived that'
Life's tough,
showers take twice as long (means I get cleaner eh?) ;)
Walking up and down stairs takes even longer, so gutted if you're behind me while I walk up or down them...
Staying awake is tough, I drift off so much the other day after an epileptic sezuire I started to drift off 'Liz wake up!'
'I'm just resting my eyes...'
I lay my clothes out on the end of my bed for the following day, everything has to be planned otherwise I get so stressed
My bras are all broken cause I have to do them up before putting them over my head
I can't have baths without someone helping me in or out or waiting for me incase I have a sezuire and drown.
(Baths are rare... Now)
I can't walk down hills without my leg aching to the point where I nearly cry, subways are so tough.. I have to swing my leg forward in order for it to actually balance me on the ground
Putting shoes on takes twice as long, my splint gets stuck.
Where my leg gets no circulation as it's still kinda paralysed, every night my toes turn blue and itch. Until I put fluffy socks on
The left side of my body slowly drops as the day goes on, so don't give me that ' Liz your coats falling off' I know...
I can't take in conversations without getting confused or tired
Oh and I take over 12 tablets a day
That's stroke life....
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